USS Animus • The Rules

VALIANT CLASS  •  NCC-74293  •  11TH FLEET  •  STARFLEET INTERNATIONAL
"The Rules"
GENERAL ORDER 47  •  USS ANIMUS NCC-74293  •  STANDING REGULATIONS

Back in the good old days of the Internet, there was a website called the 218 Things Skippy isn't allowed to do in the US Army.

This is our version.

The Things Crewman Skippy Isn't Allowed to Do on the USS Animus
  1. My proper Starfleet title is Crewman Skippy, not "The Lord High Executioner".
  2. Not allowed to threaten anyone with decompression.
  3. Our CMO is called "Commander Manuel", not "Dr. Feelgood the Pleasure Princess".
  4. Must not refer to the CO as "Dad". Only Cadet Manuel is allowed to do that.
  5. Must not refer to the XO as "Mum".
  6. Not allowed to mount a bayonet to a phaser rifle, and I have to explain where I got a bayonet.
  7. Not allowed to attach any Klingon-bladed weapons to the end of a phaser rifle.
  8. Also not allowed to make a rifle that shoots any Klingon-bladed weapons.
  9. The #announcements channel is for the transmission of crucial ship-wide information, not my own personal soapbox.
  10. Crewman Betsy is to be walked frequently but is no longer allowed in Engineering.
  11. If the thought of something makes me giggle for more than 12 seconds, I am to assume I am not allowed to do it — unless I ask the Captain if he wants to join in.
  12. The velociraptor is not allowed to be trained to eat Labradors.
  13. Not allowed to use a coin flip to make critical decisions. Even if I did see the Captain do it once.