Back in the good old days of the Internet, there was a website called the 218 Things Skippy isn’t allowed to do in the US Army.
This is our version.
The Things Crewman Skippy isn’t allowed to do on the USS Animus
- 1. My proper Starfleet title is Crewman Skippy not ‘The Lord High Executioner’
- 2. Not allowed to threaten anyone with decompression
- 3. Our CMO is called ‘Commander Manuel’ not ‘Dr. Feelgood the Pleasure Princess’
- 4. Must not refer to the CO as ‘Dad’ (only Cadet Manuel is allowed to do that)
- 5. Must not refer to the XO as ‘Mum’
- 6. Not allowed to mount a bayonet to a phaser rifle and I have to explain where I got a bayonet
- 7. Not allowed to attach any Klingon bladed weapons to the end of a phaser rifle
- 8. Also not allowed to make a rifle that shoots any Klingon bladed weapons
- 9. The #announcements channel is for the transmission of important ship-wide information, not my own personal soapbox
- 10. Crewman Betsy is to be walked frequently but is no longer allowed in Engineering
- 11. If the thought of something makes me giggle for more than 12 seconds I am to assume I am not allowed to do it unless I ask the Captain if he wants to join in
- 12. The velociraptor is not allowed to be trained to eat Labradors