Kiel's Thoughts

Personal Log: Thoughts On The Training Exercise

Kiel Solace / Personal Log / canon-verse, Kiel's Thoughts, Personal Log, The Inner Workings Of Kiel Solace, The World Behind An Engineer's Eyes, writing /

09/08/2019

Kiel Solace log something. I really need to number these. Made on the eighth of September at midnight on the Terran cycle.

So, we were going planet side for the first time in awhile, and I was excited. We were going for a training exercise. No one was going to die, no one was going to get hurt, I was relieved. I know I’m engineering, but I almost was in security. If I am planet side, my life isn’t as important as the squishy humans. I can take a beating, y’know?

Anyways, I was happy because we were safe. It was an escape room. We had to work as a team to get through it all and to make a decision. I will forever judge our dear Targ with a warm affection. Real sweet dork.

But we did so well and I’m so proud of the team. I knew nothing of half of them, but despite this, we worked so well together and it made me feel really good, really at home.

I made the dinner arrangements, and whilst our talks got political and sometimes downright painful on the history brought up that we’ve gone through, it made me feel like we all really connected and understood each other.

I mean, I overshared a ton, I know that, I feel like I put off some people because of it, but I figure, be open and blunt and we’ll be better off, right? Put it all out there and let them make an educated decision of me right off the bat. If they hate me or think I’m shit, like, fine, right? Do it right off the bat rather than I build a bond and be broken down, right?

Anyways, no, the whole crew is awesome! Like, all the family I dreamed of having, a reason I moved to join the Fleet to begin with. Because humans just get me, y’know?

Here is my home, and the crew makes it that way. I love them so much. Thank you guys, if you’re reading the words or hearing my tear stained voice. Thank you, for having faith in me, for looking to me and seeing my worth, for showing me that I am not a waste, but rather worth everything, not just to the Captain, but to a good chunk of the crew.

Thank you, for becoming my family, and I hope that I never let you guys down.

Personal Log: Thoughts On Returning To The Animus After Years

Kiel Solace / Personal Log / canon-verse, Kiel Solace, Kiel's Thoughts, Personal Log, Reflections, The Inner Workings Of Kiel Solace /

08/04/2019

Uh, this is Kiel Solace audio log… Something, made fourth of august nine at night on the Terran cycle. It is nearly a month after I have returned to my life on the Starfleet Shuttle Animus after what feels like an eternity ashore due to…. Personal reasons.

It feels almost alien to me… Tch, funny, seeing as I am half Vulcan. But being here was almost terrifying. Meeting with my crew shore side after so long, I worried what they would think of who I have become. Was I too human now? Should I have stayed as a more closed off person. Would they accept the life changes from then until now? What of my wife, would the captain approve of her joining us? What of my children? What about the piercings I’ve been hiding?

Let me backtrack a touch.

I had met the captain among my early years of the academy, done a small time serving with him on the shuttle before returning to the academy. A fresh pair of eyes donned in a tip of the hat style attire for fun, an homage to the past, so to speak. Then, unfortunately, I had to be returned to Earth for a short, seemingly endless while, to regain a semblance of control over myself, not to hide away, but to better myself.

I’m off track now, figures.

But, meeting with the crew, all my worries faded away, as new faces became like brothers and I feel like I’ve reunited with my family I had lost over the years. But, I guess they were never lost, simply there, waiting for me to return home in my own time. They have openly welcomed every new aspect of myself as I learned who I am. I have never felt so alive and full of energy as I did this last weekend. The away mission was nice, conversing with those interested in the fleet, in what we do, getting to gush about my darling machines and chatter about what we plan to do in the near and far future.

My thoughts on entering the Animus again? Like coming home to a warm hug. sniff Oh drat, there goes my mothers genes, making me leak from the eyes again. I just can’t seem to get this un-Vulcan grin off my face as I lay my head down and feel entirely at ease with the world around me, the dull thrum of the ships engines and inner workings of the mechanical bay happily purring away a melody to my ears as I rattle on about this.

It’s like seeing family you’ve longed to see, and finally, after what feels like an honest eternity, I finally can say I’m home. I know I would die for these men and women, and know they will do anything to ensure I am okay. They are my family, my home, my heart and everything to me. And as I shut my eyes in the dim lighting of the engineering core from high up in the pipelines I feel as though there is no place I’d rather be…

Don’t tell the Captain I fall asleep in the engineering bay often, he’ll likely have my head.